Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Randomize
