On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
