home. puking in laundry basket.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Randomize
