oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize