Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
