fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
My bed smells like the plague
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
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