I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
