So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
