tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
