Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
3 2 1 whiskey
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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