My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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