She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
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