Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
