Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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