I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
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