try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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