i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom