And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
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