Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(512): View more from Texas

My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle

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(+52): View more from Mexico

I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore

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(973): View more from New Jersey

only you would photoshop your dick

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(301): View more from Maryland

did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.

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(503): View more from Oregon

just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care

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(650): View more from California

That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.

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(248): View more from Michigan

I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.

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(601): View more from Mississippi

I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.

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