I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.