Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
another moral hangover. fuck.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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