I don't think brook has ever known best
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!