It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.