The maid of honor just puked.
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Randomize
