I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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