the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
