I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
