ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
