I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
