Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
