I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
