She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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