Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
