I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
