She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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