Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
