I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
you didnt know i had herpes?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
