shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
