If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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