OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
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