im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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