I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
