i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
