she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize