Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
