just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
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Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
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I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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