ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
