I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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