people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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