I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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