Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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