As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
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