Heybabeimwearingurpanties
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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