we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
