Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize