lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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