New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
