he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
