You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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