i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
