Cold hands, warm shart.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
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