I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
