im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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