Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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