love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
