He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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