girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
