can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
