Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
