we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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