For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
it glows. i had to have it.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
