This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
